The Financial Ties That Bind

In many cultures around the world, adult children are still expected to provide support to their parents since there are no retirement system in place like in the United States. I don’t feel a similar expectation, but I cannot imagine not providing support to my mother (as my father passed away last year) and have done so for much of my adult life as my financial situation in the United States, even with the struggles, has been better then my parents' situation in El Salvador.

Things are different here. Financial support of aging parents by children has generally lessened in the United States due to improvements in government support, workplace retirement accounts and personal savings strategies. But in the not-so-distant past, it was not uncommon for children to be expected to provide support to their parents. In rural areas relying on agriculture, family planning meant having many children to help with the tasks associated with working the land as much as it did for providing support as the parents aged.

But the idea of higher wage earners assisting family members is not uncommon as many people have provided loans and other support to brothers, sisters and cousins in need. And when parents get older, they look to their children for support as well.

As part of a global economy, we've also seen the domino effect of the economic downturn here in the U.S. spread to family and friends living internationally. Most of us have either experienced or witnessed how these economic challenges have hit home: a severe decrease in available jobs, as well as increased costs on basic goods and services.

In many ways El Salvador’s prices are similar to that of the United States, especially since the national currency is the dollar. Food prices are parallel to the United States as are many consumer goods, but salaries are lower than the United States. This means that budgets get tight quickly.

My sister has a sandwich making business back in my hometown of Canton Los Chilamates.  Each morning she gets up and makes a pile of sandwiches before heading into town to sell them throughout the day. On most days she earns $15-$25, hardly enough to get by -- but combining this with her husband’s pay they do manage to give a little money to our mother.

Mom has spent most of her adult life in the house, making sure everything was taken care of for her family. During the sugarcane season she would join dad in the fields to harvest the stalks, bringing in a little extra money during those times. Those fields have been sold -- sugarcane is not as lucrative as it once was. My father managed to continue to do other agricultural work, bringing in a little money, but passed last July. This left Mom to run the house on her own.

She has continued to support the family even as all but one of my siblings have moved. Even with all of the changes in our family over the years, Mom’s house is still the central meeting place for everyone and the place the grandchildren and other extended family children go when their parents are at work or busy.

I began giving my parents money from a young age. Even when they were earning money they still struggled to cover all the costs of the family. As I grew old I took jobs paying higher wages and was able share more money with my family. Ultimately I knew that leaving El Salvador and coming to the United States (for that story click ) was going to be the best opportunity for me to increase my income. Even with the high costs of living in the United States I knew I could make enough to cover myself while continuing to send money to support my parents.

For many years I have worked taking care of children. This has been great for me as I have worked for good families, been able to care for my three children at the same time and have been paid a fair wage. The consistency of the work has been good as there is always a need for quality care.

My husband is in a field of work which has its ups and downs. He has spent the majority of his career working in landscaping and maintenance. When the work is plentiful the pay has allowed us to raise the children and send money home while still having some of the extras of occasional meals out and extra toys for the kids. Recently, though, he experienced a six month gap in work. Though he found occasional jobs during that time his income was sporadic, causing us to tighten our belts at home and reduce the money we were sending to my family.

In the past we had sent up to $100-$200 a month and the money would cover the basics of food, electricity and a few extras, giving my parents and also extended family a little breathing room from the pressures. However,  because my husband has been unemployed, it became a struggle for us to send more than $50-$75 a month, causing my Mom to have to tighten her belt.

Fortunately, I am not the only one helping my mom. My other sister living in the United States also sends money while my sister living with mom helps her at home. My brother, who lives in the capital of San Salvador, doesn’t make a lot of extra money but is able to bring staples with him, like a pound of rice or beans or sugar, when he travels home.

Collectively my siblings and I have been able to weather our financial realties and continue to provide support to our parents. Years of financial resourcefulness has helped Mom find ways to stretch her money. What the future brings for all of us is not clear, but I remain optimistic.

After all of the uncertainties we have experienced…it is the only thing we can do.